SingleShots

The Contact Sheet
Volume 7
September 13, 2004
Past Issues

It’s mid-September, and I’m looking forward to feeling some chill in the air, as well as to some other changes that will be happening for SingleShots in the coming months. The big news is that I will be moving my studio in October to a new location. I found a great new space within a suite of studios at the Artist Network, a consortium of international and local artists. It’s located on Broadway just north of Canal Street, which will make it easier and faster for people to visit, and avoid all the complicated directions getting to the studio in Stuyvesant Town!

Concurrently, I am also looking for an apartment or share in the Park Slope vicinity in Brooklyn, for November 1st. If anyone knows of anything available, please let me know!

I hope many of you are getting fresh starts this Fall, in love and any other areas of your life that you desire change. Happy New Year and Happy September!

Best,
Mindy

Before and After of the Month:

Before

After

What’s wrong with this “before”?

The subject made a better attempt at most with this self-portrait; at least he set up a tripod. However, the homemade sheet background is distracting and unappealing. It’s a white sheet but it appears yellow in the photo because there wasn’t proper color balance, and you can even see some of the apartment behind the sheet, which defeats its purpose. You don’t need to hang a special background. Just make sure you’re posed far enough away from whatever you’re in front of so it appears blurry, which will pop you from the background in your final result.

For more before and afters, check out our gallery.

Singles Spotlight:

Singles Spotlight is a monthly feature introducing one of our clients who is looking to find a great match online. If you’re intrigued by the person and want to learn more, or even have a friend or family member who you think would make a good match, feel free to contact him or her through the dating services or through me and I will pass on the message.

Tom:

The first usual question: Tell us a little about yourself and what you're looking for in a partner:

First of all, I'm cute. Let's get that straight right now.

Also, my life is driven by the need to create. I write and perform music and theatre, make flaky pie crust from scratch and design and knit sweaters (look at that stunner in my pic!). I'm a decent man, a good listener, passionate, romantic, and in college I wrote a term paper comparing King Lear and Mary Poppins. I got a B+.

I'd like to find someone who is intelligent yet fun, handsome yet sweet, sexy yet goofy, comfortable with who he is yet humble and a good kisser yet, well, a good kisser.

How did you decide to get started online dating?

It can be difficult to connect in New York City. I got bored with bars and clubs long ago, and I thought online personals might be a good way to supplement my chances of meeting people. I don't think, however, it should be the only way -- what you write and what you look like in a picture is only about 1 percent of who you are. But it's a good start.

What dating services are you using, what are you thoughts about them, and how would someone contact you through them?

I use Match.com and Yahoo personals. I think they're both pretty good. They attract a lot of gay men from very different backgrounds. You can include a lot about yourself in your profile, although I think Match.com overdoes that a bit (of course, I'm one of the worst offenders). To find me on Match.com search for "TommyTomNYC." On Yahoo I'm "gayownedandoperated."

What are some of your favorite places/things to do in New York? Your biggest New York pet peeve?

I think we all have endless lists for this. Here's #1: The Central Park "mall" is just what I always imagined church should be (in case you don't know it, it's a ridiculously beautiful and peaceful promenade shaded by a canopy of trees -- south of Bethesda fountain).

I can't stand people who chew and pop gum with their mouth open. But of course, that's not New York specific.

Any funny/amusing dating stories?

Not yet - it's all been good. But I'll get back to you should something wacky come up!

What They’re Saying:

Mindy,

Just wanted to check in and say THANK YOU again for the great headshots. I’m currently in Paris and I posted my profile on the French Match.com and I can’t even manage the volume of responses! I’ve been on two dates so far, with two more (with different guys) planned for next week. The picture I’m using is the real clincher – EVERYONE talks about my blue, blue eyes. And I continue to silently thank the talented, talented photographer!

Karen

Promotions:

September Start-Up

The lazy days of summer are over, so it’s about time you got a new picture to match your new resolution to get online or to improve your dating prospects. I’ll help give you an incentive by offering 10% off my premium and unlimited packages in September and October. Just mention that you saw the promotion in The Contact Sheet.

We are also continuing to offer our Bring a Friend promotion: if you book a session with a friend, both people will receive 10% off any package. Under our Refer a Friend promotion, past clients who continue to help pass the word on about SingleShots receive a free 5x7 print or web photo if their friend books a session with us.

Site Unseen:

LoveInWar.com, DemocraticSingles.net, Liberal Hearts.com, ActforLove.com, ConservativeMatch.com, SingleRepublican.com

With the election coming up, debate is heating up, and not only among the candidates. If you care a lot about politics, why not try to find a partner of your own political persuasion? While arguing with someone one other side of the political fence about the environment or the war can sometimes make sparks fly, we can’t all be Mary Matalin and James Carville.

Coach Notes:

This month, NYC-based dating and relationship coach Janice D. Bennett, Ph.D. has some tips for singles who are online and willing to date someone out of their familiar geography. To learn more about how Janice can help you find and create a gratifying life partner relationship, visit her website at FocusedCoachingServices.com, or give her a call at 212-874-1470.

“If you had initially met someone in person prior to becoming geographically separated, then you would have some foundation from which to build your relationship by staying in contact virtually. However, if you instead met someone online first, then you need to be aware of the potential that dating virtually, i.e., via the internet and telephone only, can lead to the creation of a "pseudo-intimacy." So here are a few tips to help you get the most out of virtual dating prior to meeting in person.

After exchanging a few emails to determine that you want to pursue the relationship, I suggest that you graduate to talking on the telephone. You can supplement your phone calls with email or instant messaging, as well as with snail (postal) mail. If you feel that the relationship is progressing, then it is very important that you decide when you're going to meet in person. If this won't be possible for a number of weeks or months, then I suggest that you make a schedule a to when, and for how long, you'll talk on the phone. Attempt to discuss current events rather than "what it'll be like when we're together," or bemoaning your separate geographical fate. Creating and maintaining this type of structure over your virtual contact should help you to feel more in control and comfortable in a situation where there really is no structure.

Now I can better explain what I mean when I say that dating virtually can lead to a "pseudo-intimacy." If you haven't met in person, you don't know if the chemistry that you feel over the phone has any basis in reality. Unfortunately, the internet and the telephone lend themselves to create environments where it is easier to let down your defenses, and say things without knowing how your message "lands" on another person.

My advice to singles who meet virtually is to ALWAYS do whatever it takes to meet in person, and as soon as possible. This way, you give your feelings a chance to ‘check in’ with your dating partner in the real world, which is where you're going to live together eventually, anyway, right?!”

About SingleShots:

SingleShots, the first photo studio dedicated to online portraits, knows how important a photo is in the online dating world, and yet how hard it seems to find a photo of yourself that you like enough to represent you. Mindy Stricke takes photos that are relaxed and flattering-the best version of you on a great day. Meeting the right person is hard enough…why not give it your best shot? To sign up for The Contact Sheet or to learn more about SingleShots, email info@singleshots.com or call 212-777-1482.