SingleShots

The Contact Sheet
Volume 6
July 26, 2004
Past Issues

Lots of great stories in this issue, featuring iguana loving dates and dates who act reptilian. We’re very busy at the studio this summer, shooting singles as well as an increasing number of singles with other members of their families. One woman who had a great experience with us is coming back to do a photo shoot with her mom, and another client came back to do a shoot with her nephews. Let’s face it, when you’re dating you’re often looking your best, so why not take advantage of getting some great photos with people you love? Call us to find out more about custom packages.

Hope everyone is having a great summer!

Best,
Mindy

Before and After of the Month:


*Before*	After

What’s wrong with this “before”?

The subject took this photo herself, which caused a number of unflattering problems. In addition to the fact that you can see her arm extended on the right side of the frame, facing the camera directly is not the most flattering angle for her face. Also, she was forced to use flash as she didn’t have adequate lighting, and her eyes look glassy as a result, without the life you see in the after photo. The after photo really captures her vibrant spirit, which is hard to see in the first shot since she was probably focusing too hard to keep the camera steady!

For more before and afters, check out our gallery.

What's Going On:

Press:

Staten Island Advance

Last month, a reporter from the Staten Island Advance dropped by our workshop at the 92nd St. Y to speak with me and Evan Marc Katz of E-Cyrano.com about our experience as online dating consultants. Check out the entire article.

Singles Spotlight:
This month, we’re beginning a monthly feature introducing one of our clients who is looking to find a great match online. If you’re intrigued by the person and want to learn more, or even have a friend or family member who you think would make a good match, feel free to contact him or her through the dating services or through me and I will pass on the message.

Beth

The first usual question: Tell us a little about yourself and what you’re looking for in a partner:

I'm a West Sider with a downtown sensibility and international outlook. I love cycling on a clear autumn day, having a lively conversation about current affairs, skiing in fresh powder, or discovering a new country and culture. I speak French and am perpetually working on my Spanish. Other interests include music (Sting to Bach to Nina Simone), reading, museums, and photography. I care deeply about the environment, international development and human rights, and am committed to making a difference. I tend to seek out the subway car people are not piling into, even if the lights don't work! My professional life (lawyer/writer) is sane and leaves me time for escaping the city, pursuing volunteer activities and spending time with family (adorable niece and nephew!) and friends.

So what am I looking for in a man? Above all, kindness, warmth, intellectual curiosity and unpretentiousness. Someone with a sense of adventure, who shares some of my interests but will also inspire me to explore new things. My ideal relationship is one where we are best friends, trust each other absolutely, have great communication, and challenge and bring out the best in each other. And he doesn't have to live in New York!

How did you decide to get started online dating?
A lot of people I knew, including a guy friend who is a brilliant professor, were doing it, so I figured I'd give it a try.

What dating services are you using?
Jdate (cyclegrl1) and Match (bellacyclista).

What are some of your favorite places/things to do in New York?
I love walking around the reservoir in Central Park. Now that they've replaced the high chain link fence with a lower, less obtrusive one, the view of the Guggenheim and Fifth Avenue from the West Side is amazing.

Another favorite spot is the roof garden at the Met Museum - the best in art and nature in one place. And Tribeca, with its relatively quiet cobblestone streets and big loft buildings. Sometimes you can actually smell the spices from the old spice warehouses.

Any funny dating stories?
There's a guy I dated a while back who took me up to his apartment to show me his two (large!) pet iguanas. There was lettuce strewn about because that's what they like to eat. He exhibited an affection for these animals that many people have for their dogs. The iguanas liked to hang out in his bathtub. It turned out that one of them was missing a leg, lost in a fight with the third iguana, which his ex-girlfriend still had. Of course they sometimes held iguana reunions. I had a feeling, as I left this fellow's apartment, that I would not be seeing him again soon!

Stories From the Dating Trenches:

This email made the forwarding rounds in the city as an example of what not to do when you get rejected after a date. I later found out that the recipient of this email was one of my clients. Small world!

Dating In Manhattan: An Exercise In Contract Law
Say you meet a nice guy on a popular online Jewish dating service, and go out for dinner. Then you get a little busy at work for a week or so, and don't jump all over the guy like a desperate hussy. What do you get? An invoice for that date's dinner. Yeah, our name-withheld-heroine must be sad she's missing out on
this clown's attentions.

To: [X]
Subject: Invoice
6/12/04 Date: Sat, 12 Jun 2004 17:15:59 EDT
Dear [WOMAN'S NAME]
On June 5, you agreed to accept dinner, paid for in full, by me, based on your stated offer that we would go out again. In that you have ignored all overtures to said follow up meeting, you are hereby considered in breach of contract. To that end, you are being invoiced for 50% of the cost of the dinner, pursuant to the offer. For the record, the offer presented you with the option of not going out again and paying for half of the dinner, or going out again and not paying at all. You accepted these terms, choosing to go out again, as stated above, but have since failed to deliver your end of the agreement. In that this was merely a promise to meet, and not a promise to marry, the agreement is binding under New York law and does not require a written agreement (i.e. statute of frauds). Furthermore, this is absolutely not a joke. Your share is 50% of $74.51 which is a total of $37.25. Payment in full is expected within 30 days. You may remit to: [MAN'S NAME AND ADDRESS]

Promotions:

Summer Lovin’
To celebrate summer, all new clients who mention this promotion will receive free 4x6 prints of all of their final photos from now until the end of August.

We are also continuing to offer our Bring a Friend promotion: if you book a session with a friend, both people will receive 10% off any package. Under our Refer a Friend promotion, past clients who continue to help pass the word on about SingleShots receive a free 5x7 print or web photo if their friend books a session with us.

Site Unseen:

Dream Bachelor and Dream Bachelorette

Okay, I can admit that I’ve tuned into The Bachelor and other reality shows of that ilk once or twice. Okay, maybe more than once or twice. Let’s face it, it’s kind of fun to see the whole dating thing as a game, since much of the time it feels that way anyway! Dream Bachelor, Dream Bachelorette, and their gay counterparts GayMeetsBoy.com and GayMeetsGirl.com are one of the first online dating and matchmaking websites that offers a reality TV flare, as they showcase the top rated bachelors and bachelorettes as voted on by the members of the site. And with a new SingleShots photo, you may be pleasantly surprised at how high your ranking can go

Coach Notes:

Sherry Amatenstein is the Dating Expert at Ivillage.com and author of Q & A
Dating Book (Adams, 2000) and Love Lessons from Bad Breakups (Perigee, 2002). She has given relationship advice all around town -Early Show, Inside Edition, Good Day New York, VH1, etc. She gives one on one date coaching aimed at helping clients unearth blocks that keep them from successfully forging a love relationship. You can contact her at sherwrtr@ix.netcom.com.

“When writing your profile and during your first conversations with your potential boyfriend/girlfriend, think HONESTY LITE. This is not to advocate lying. It's just that you don't need to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but...meaning, don't spill all your secrets too soon. A little mystery is better than sharing all the analytical tidbits you picked up from the past 10 years in therapy. Give the essentials with a positive spin. For example, it's important for him to know you're a single mother. But don't complain about your stresses. Instead, share that while you love your kids, it's time for you to develop a personal life.

At this early stage it's also important to share information that might quickly uncover a major incompatibility. Say she's allergic to animals and you have two kittens. Or you're a vegetarian and he's a butcher with a rib roast fixation. And she'll realize you're a night owl if the timestamps on your emails are 2am rather than 8pm. Better to suss out potential roadblocks sooner than later.

Speaking of Honesty Lite. You met face to face and were underwhelmed.
Unfortunately he/she keeps bugging you for a return engagement. Just send a quick note: ‘While I truly enjoyed meeting you, I just didn't feel we were compatible enough to pursue a relationship. But I wish you all the best.’”

About SingleShots:

SingleShots, the first photo studio dedicated to online portraits, knows how important a photo is in the online dating world, and yet how hard it seems to find a photo of yourself that you like enough to represent you. SingleShots takes photos that are relaxed and flattering-the best version of you on a great day. Meeting the right person is hard enough…why not give it your best shot? To sign up for The Contact Sheet or to learn more about us, email us at info@singleshots.com or call us at 212-777-1482.