The
Contact Sheet Happy New Year! This is always the time of year where we get calls from people who have been meaning to make an appointment for a long time; years in some cases. We know it’s not easy taking that step, not only to go online, but to make the commitment to yourself that you’re worth the time, money, and energy it takes to get a professional photo taken. Nothing’s foolproof when it comes to online dating, but it’s clear that starting off the whole endeavor feeling good about how you’re representing yourself really can make or break your experience. Hope everyone is well! Best, News: The
Inside Scoop Before and After of the Month:
What’s wrong with this “before”? Lighting, among other things. The harsh light that is hitting her face in the before photo is extremely unflattering, making her skin look shiny. She looks like a deer caught in the headlights. The soft, flattering light in the second photo is the way to go. She’s also wearing a great top without the distracting pattern that's in the first shot, and instead of looking scared, her expression is slightly mysterious and sexy, making you want to know more about her. For more before and afters, check out our gallery or past newsletters. Promotions: Before
and After Welcome
Back *Discounts cannot be combined. What They're Saying:
“I thought the picture I had of myself was lovely and that somehow my profile was scaring potential suitors away. I'd get about two responses a week. After posting the picture you took of me, I have become the belle of the ball! I'm overwhelmed by the difference, and I'm not even sure how to keep the guys who write to me straight. This is exactly the kind of problem I hoped to have, as I believe that dating is a numbers game. Thank you for bringing the flock to me!” Off You Go: Over the River and Through the Woods Each month we feature a get together hosted by Meet Market Adventures, which sets up great events all over the city and the area. There’s no membership fee, so why not check it out. Sign up for the below event, or learn more about them at http://www.meetmarketadventures.com/ XC
Skiing and/or Snowshoeing Day What’s Love Got To Do With It? Robin Gorman Newman, a New York dating coach who contributes to this newsletter periodically, has a new book out, How to Marry a Mensch. You can buy the book, and meet the author and other singles at the following event. For more information on other readings and appearances, visit Robin’s website at http://www.lovecoach.com Meet
& Mingle over Words, Wine & Music at Long Island’s
Premier Vineyard Coach Notes: Dr. Jessica Page is a licensed clinical psychologist in Manhattan who helps singles evaluate the subtext and messages in their online dating profiles. Contact her at info@interpersonalbest.com, or check out http://www.interpersonalbest.com for more information. What Does Your Online Profile Say About You? by Jessica Page, Psy.D. Creating an online profile is easy. Creating a vibrant, unique profile that presents you in a multifaceted way isn’t. But let’s suppose that you’ve taken the time to create a thoughtful profile. You’ve let your best friend, your mother, your ex-but-still-a-friend review it, and you’re still not getting the responses you’d like. What’s going on? The
problem might be in the subtext of your profile—the underlying
messages that are implied but not directly stated. In other words,
your profile may say things about you that you don’t realize
and that you didn’t intend on saying. Unintended messages
often revealed in online profiles include: 2. Reluctance about being online. Let’s face it. No one is excited about being online. But remember that whoever is reading your profile is online, too. If you say, “I never thought I’d have to resort to this,” it sounds like a negative judgment of online dating…and of the people who date online. 3. Overly picky criteria. Sure, we all have our likes and dislikes. But statements such as, “Don’t bother writing if you’re not at least 5’7” and a redhead” are negative and a turnoff…even to someone who is a 5’7” redhead. So what if a few petite brunettes write to you? If you don’t find them attractive, just delete the emails. 4. Sarcasm. This is tricky. You want to come across as funny, especially if that’s one of your strengths, but it’s important to remember that many nuances get lost in written text and often have an unintended effect. Statements that sound funny when spoken aloud (or when read by someone who knows you well) can sound arrogant or angry when read by a stranger. Someone who is trying to say that he values intelligence over looks might benefit from writing something other than, “Beautiful blonde idiots need not apply.” 5. Neediness. Of course you want a partner. That’s why you’re dating online. But saying, “My perfect first date is knowing that we will be married within two months” is, well, scary. Does this mean you should be dishonest in your profile? Of course not! But remember, your profile is like a snapshot of your personality. Of course you might be somewhat jaded about dating or reluctant about being online, but you want to communicate more than that. Unfortunately, dating websites provide only a brief space to describe yourself. This means that each statement becomes magnified and has significant impact. Don’t let unintended messages discourage someone who might be a great match! Review each statement carefully, thinking about how it might come across to someone who doesn’t already know you. You owe it to yourself to have the best online dating experience possible. About SingleShots: SingleShots, the first photo studio dedicated to online portraits, knows how important a photo is in the online dating world, and yet how hard it seems to find a photo of yourself that you like enough to represent you. SingleShots takes photos that are relaxed and flattering-the best version of you on a great day. Meeting the right person is hard enough…why not give it your best shot? To sign up for The Contact Sheet or to learn more about SingleShots, email info@singleshots.com or call 212-229-1911. Copyright © SingleShots™. All rights reserved. |
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